By 3am my left eye is swollen shut and my lymph nodes in my armpits are aching. Welts the size of peaches pulse on my forehead and forearms."No. Fucking.Way." I realize how much I took depth perception for granted now that I can only see out of one eye. The only anti-inflammatory I have is Advil so I pop three and pray for sleep.
I Skype Michael at around 5am and end up crying every time I try to be brave. I have an 8:30 am bus for a four and a half our bus ride into a national park, aka, middle of nowhere.
"I can do this." I tell myself and eek out another hour and a half of sleep.
I'm either delirious or that last stretch of sleep hit the spot but I wake up determined and feeling better. Just two days ago I was coaching myself away from catastrophising and "I'll be happy if" thinking and now I look like Quasimodo minus the hunchback(as Michael pointed out). More appropriate for lurking Notre Dan than hiking through Croatian waterfalls.
Beth Dyer had just posted an amazing video (http://viralvo.com/newborn-baby/?r=jm)about a couple's painful and circuitous path to parenthood that had severely tested their faith. "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" was my take away.
"I got this." I tell myself and make a mental gratitude list on my way to the bus stations, feeling stronger with every step.
Blessedly, I get more sleep on the bus but by the time I get to the hotel the burning in my arms feels muscle deep.
"Do you have a pharmacy nearby?" I ask the hotel clerk, already knowing the answer.
"No,"
"Is there a doctor nearby?" I ask.
"A doctor? Yes, but he is for emergencies, broken leg or something like this..."
I take off my sunglasses and flash him my eye. His jaw drops ever so slightly.
"It will be very expensive...you are not a Croatian citizen..."
I take a breath, put my sunglasses on and smile, "How much, do you think?" I ask brightly.
"Maybe 300 kuna around there." Which I know is about 40 euro.
"How long will it take for him to get here?"
At this moment, silly as it is, I am proud of myself. I advocated firmly without rudeness and I felt strangely grateful to be an American with my unperturbed optimism, "Where there's a will, there's a way" attitude. And, of course, I'm grateful for my resources which many Croatians do not have.
Three minutes later I am in an ambulance and taken to the hotel next store(it would have been quicker to walk). 310 kuna(about $45) and three shots in the butt later my burning is less intense. My eye is still shut but im able to open it if I need to.
I eat my lunch with gusto over my cortisone shot victory and take a hard one hour power nap. The park entrance is only 100 meters away and I have 56% battery in my I phone(did I mention that, in the meantime my phone charger busted?). If I conserve I can take some pics this afternoon and tomorrow morning...
It's 4:30 by the time I get to the park. I forgot how quickly the sun goes down over the mountains, even in the middle of summer but I am grateful. Moving my body feels good, the water is crystal clear and I'm able to catch a couple of dramatically lit shots. There is water everywhere!
Again, depth perception is FOR real! I cautiously tread the wooden walkway. Steps jump out form nowhere, which all forces me to take my time and to slow down. With my capacities fully functioning I may have Griswolded it the whole time. Instead, I realize that being here is a blessing and this place is a miracle and I'm grateful for each step.
