Ambulance, Waterfalls, and Gratitude

   By 3am my left eye is swollen shut and my lymph nodes in my armpits are aching. Welts the size of peaches pulse on my forehead and forearms.

"No. Fucking.Way." I realize how much I took depth perception for granted now that I can only see out of one eye. The only anti-inflammatory I have is Advil so I pop three and pray for sleep. 

  I Skype Michael at around 5am and end up crying every time I try to be brave. I have an 8:30 am bus for a four and a half our bus ride into a national park, aka, middle of nowhere.

"I can do this." I tell myself and eek out another hour and a half of sleep.

   I'm either delirious or that last stretch of sleep hit the spot but I wake up determined and feeling better. Just two days ago I was coaching myself away from catastrophising and "I'll be happy if" thinking and now I look like Quasimodo minus the hunchback(as Michael pointed out). More appropriate for lurking Notre Dan than hiking through Croatian waterfalls.

  Beth Dyer had just posted an amazing video (http://viralvo.com/newborn-baby/?r=jm)about a couple's painful and circuitous path to parenthood that had severely tested their faith. "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" was my take away.

  "I got this." I tell myself and make a mental gratitude list on my way to the bus stations, feeling stronger with every step.

  Blessedly, I get more sleep on the bus but by the time I get to the hotel the burning in my arms feels muscle deep.

"Do you have a pharmacy nearby?" I ask the hotel clerk, already knowing the answer.

"No," 

"Is there a doctor nearby?" I ask.

"A doctor? Yes, but he is for emergencies, broken leg or something like this..."

I take off my sunglasses and flash him my eye. His jaw drops ever so slightly.

"It will be very expensive...you are not a Croatian citizen..."

I take a breath, put my sunglasses on and smile, "How much, do you think?" I ask brightly.

"Maybe 300 kuna around there." Which I know is about 40 euro.

"How long will it take for him to get here?"

  At this moment, silly as it is, I am proud of myself. I advocated firmly without rudeness and I felt strangely grateful to be an American with my unperturbed optimism, "Where there's a will, there's a way" attitude. And, of course, I'm grateful for my resources which many Croatians do not have.

   Three minutes later I am in an ambulance and taken to the hotel next store(it would have been quicker to walk). 310 kuna(about $45) and three shots in the butt later my burning is less intense. My eye is still shut but im able to open it if I need to.

 

I eat my lunch with gusto over my cortisone shot victory and take a hard one hour power nap. The park entrance is only 100 meters away and I have 56% battery in my I phone(did I mention that, in the meantime my phone charger busted?). If I conserve I can take some pics this afternoon and tomorrow morning...

  It's 4:30 by the time I get to the park. I forgot how quickly the sun goes down over the mountains, even in the middle of summer but I am grateful. Moving my body feels good, the water is crystal clear and I'm able to catch a couple of dramatically lit shots. There is water everywhere!

 

  Again, depth perception is FOR real! I cautiously tread the wooden walkway. Steps jump out form nowhere, which all forces me to take my time and to slow down.  With my capacities fully functioning I may have Griswolded it the whole time. Instead, I realize that being here is a blessing and this place is a miracle and I'm grateful for each step.

 

 

  

Nerd fest Dubrovnik Style-Game of Thrones Tour

 I just had to do it...on the hottest day EVER! Somehow though I just did not mind sweating as much while geeking out on the GoT tour.

 Is it worth it? YES. Do you really recognize shots from the series...YES. 

The Dubrovnik Walking Tour folks have it down. First, there was our guide who, for the last 5 seasons was the stand in for...(drum roll please)... Danaryus!! Yes, the mother of dragons herself was our tour guide or, at least the girl whose job it was to learn her lines and deliver them standing in the shot while they checked for lighting, etc. 

 

   And she used "we" a lot, as in "we shot Geoffry dying 15 times" and "we had to pay all the residents on this street to close their windows and turn off any audio equipment because of the sensitivity of the sound equipment." Basically, we got a tour with a double insider: local girl who worked on the series. She had a bunch of pictures with the cast members too. 

   To help us "see" the scene set we were looking at she would show us a picture of the scene wherever we were so that we could see the changes they made whether it was CGI or added greenery to hide equipment and narrate what was happening in that shot(Little Finger and Circe debating about power in season , Sansa's almost rape until she was saved by the Hound). 

 The MOST interesting part was, of course, everything they had to do to make the walk of atonement happen. A couple of tidbits: the steps lead up to their cathedral and the church refused HBO's request to film the scene in front of the cathedral. However, the stairs themselves are owned by the city so the walk of atonement was filmed in at least three different locations. Also, Circe had to use a body double because she has tattoos all over(you never see her with short sleeves) and she is too fit(she actually has abs). 

  If you want to know more I'll have to tell you over a cocktail while looking at all my pictures!

Great tour, worth the money.

 

 

Unexpected Belgrade

Belgradians are proud of their city. It makes me feel badly that I was not initially impressed. But after I wiped down the sweat from my 5 floor climb, and cleared the exhaust stench out of my nose I regrouped and headed out from my hostel  to walk to the medieval fortress, just 10 minutes at the end of the pedestrian zone. 

 

 

 

The city has turned this fortress into an all purpose park, similar to Central Park although not as large. 

 

 The fortress overlooks the river and people gather on the wall to watch sunset. 

  

It makes me feel a little lonely. It's the time of day when people connect. They walk together, have dinner talk about their day. A Belgradian woman who now lives in DC tells me, "Here, we really live. It's Tuesday night and everyone is out walking around, visiting with each other. It's not just the weekend that we do this. We live our life. We're not just chasing after money and sitting on the couch with the remote to unwind." I completely understand what she is saying. She lives with her husband and kid in DC but she feels like she really lives at "home." 

"Please tell people about this beautiful city!" She gives my hand a big squeeze before we part. She is not trying to be derogatory about Americans but how they live is the norm in this country, not an exception like in the states. 

  Michael and I noticed this in Greece as Well. Even at 11:00 at night families were still out. Kids playing, old people sitting, everyone, all ages together, sharing the space of their community.

   My taxi driver tells me, "We don't work more than 25 minutes away from home. Right after work we go home to be with our family.  We like spending time together. And we don't move to different cities. My children are 4th generation born in Belgrade. Family is the most important thing."

  There's alot of factors at play in how we live in America. What would it look like if we adopted more of the life friendly aspects of European culture?

Sweatin' in Dubrovnik

 Early morning in old town Dubrovnik is the best time. The cruise ships with hordes of tourists haven't shown up yet, the streets are newly washed and the stone gleams in the morning sun.  

 

I took advantage of the emptier streets to take some selfies(I got short arms so they'll all be pretty close up on my face, apologies). Selfie sticks are umbiquitous here and I secretly wish I have one now but I'm fighting the urge(I just can't!).

 

 

If you know me, you know that I love outdoor markets and Dubrovnik had one EVERY DAY(except Sunday's-95% Roman Catholic population). Breakfast cost me 3 euro total(about $3.41, I've been workin' this XE currency exchanger app, I'm on my third type of currency, the Kuna) which saves me mula for the wall entrance(120kn=$18) and the Game of Thrones tour(180kn=$27). Ouch! The site entrances and tours are what Michael and I found sucked up the most of our money and it's no different here. So I eat breakfast alfresco.

  

 

   

BUT, it's already 88 degrees...I eat my Burke back at my room in my Sobe which is basically an Airbnb. Croatian grandmothers had this figured out long before Airbnb came along. The woman who lives in this 150 year old apartment must be getting close to 150 herself. I mean, she is ancient! So it's like I'm staying with grandma which is nice. 

  When I arrived she made me a glass of Croatian tang and gave me some cookies while she used a magnifying glass to write down my passport info. I dusted the whole bowl of cookies and she had to restock the bowl. 

After my morning walk I've come to accept that I'm just going to sweat while I'm here. Not cute little beads of perspiration but rivulets of sweat down my face, chest and back. In fact, I think Dubrovnik means "wet" in Croatian. 

    

 

As you can see in my "before" pic, so pretty and proud of myself and then...the after. Sweat, sweat, sweat, sweat, Sweaty! I'm trying to move past the denial phase("it's not that bad") and the bargaining("please breeze! Please!!) and into the acceptance phase("Hi, I'm a puddle of sweat walking around in clothes. Would you please take my picture to document the ignominy that are my sweat glands?")

After the GoT tour I took a siesta in my air conditioned room. I'm writing this post in procrastination of going out into the heat again. That said, complaining about sweat and high ticket prices tells me I'm feeling more normal and I've been feeling like I'm catching my stride. Really, I'm having a blast!

Arriving in Belgrade

 The arrivals area of Air Serbia smelled like an ashtray with a swirl of exhaust. With 90% humidity it felt like the fumes coated the inside of my nostrils. 

  Just a word of advice, if the tourist information guy recommends taking a taxi, and a travel website recommends taking a taxi, and your hostel recommends taking a taxi, then...take a taxi. Trying to get by on 20 eu for the next 24 hours did not fit in a 16 eu taxi ride. But, first I had to change money.

 

  It took me three tries to get the exchange machine to change my 20 euro bill into dinars. When it gave me a couple of 1,000 and 500 dinar bills I took a breath and reminded myself that Michael prepared me for this really large bills of funny money. He also warned me that not all locks or ATMs work the same. 

  I realize now how much I relied on him during our trip to open doors, get money, carry my luggage going up stairs. I had the sinking feeling I was in for a rude awakening. 

 

  The A1 bus driver was kind. He showed me how much the ticket cost (300 dinar, paid with a 500 bill and he gave me "change") and he didn't let me get off at the wrong stop(took it all the way to the end of the line).

  On the way to the city center broad fields were interrupted by large tenement block housing that increased in density as we got closer to the city center.  

I was dropped off at the beginning of downtown and using my thumb to measure out on the map, I had a 1500 meter walk ahead(about a mile).

I passed quite a few interesting buildings on my way to the pedestrian square but I didn't stop to take pictures. It may be because it was my first day on my own, or that I know nothing of the culture but I felt vulnerable. Taking pictures while carrying every item I own on my person never feels prudent so I had to take mental pictures.

Once I got to the pedestrian area I did risk a couple of pics...

 

 

 

And then I got a little more daring and composed a bit more...

 

Five flights of stairs later(I didn't know how to work the elevator) I made it to my hostel. Relieved and weary. It's only day one!! 

  

And the Adventure Continues

      It's been 15 years since I've traveled alone and it's starting out much the same at 39 as it did when I was 24. I go through the "What was I thinking??" phase which always seem to involve tears over food. Last time I cried over a Hamburger at a Hard Rock Cafe in Barcelona. This time my tears drop over a bowl of cornflakes overlooking the Acropolis.

    But this time is different, I just had the trip of a lifetime with the love of my life. "What am I still doing here?!!" I should be on a flight back home with Michael, awaiting homemade Greek salads in our back yard after walking Riley along the coast...sigh.   

     Then, I remind myself of what my very wise auntie told me, which is that traveling alone requires a certain set of skills and resourcefulness and that these skills are like a muscle that should be flexed from time to time, if we're fortunate enough to do so.

  So as I step onto the Athens subway car, ticket in had, passport and euros stowed away safely along with a sandwich put together from breakfast fixings, I remember, I like the process of traveling: the small challenges that feel like big accomplishments, the autonomy that's borne out of solitude, the surprises that feel like grand discoveries because I found them all on my own... Yeah, I got this.